Considering my post from yesterday, I think it is very easy (and lazy) to view the Have and Have Not situation in Delhi in Dickensian terms--i.e., there are stingy and greedy Ebenezer Scrooge's and poor, selfless Tiny Tims. Truth be told, I'm sure there are folks running around here that are straight up caricatures of folks like that but the reality on the ground is that the interaction between the Haves and the Have Nots is much more nuanced. In my experience this relationship is complicated on both sides by feelings of distrust, resentment and suspicion which have a way of hardening into ugly behavior.
I am certainly a Have and live my life almost entirely interacting with the Haves. Here are some situations that, for me, exemplify the difficulty in acting as beneficently and generously as Haves might like to:
Last weekend I went to visit a monument in Delhi which was about a 15 minute walk from the nearest metro station. In an ideal world, upon exiting the metro station I would have walked to the nearest rickshaw bicyclist, gotten into his vehicle, and enjoyed a smooth and quick ride to the site, enriching the poor cyclist with well-earned wages and saving myself the hassle of trying to find the way and being jostled in a crowded, dirty, polluted walk for 15 minutes. Yes, I would have really like to have taken the bicyclist and it should have been a win-win situation for all. But instead, as I exited the metro station I was bumrushed by about 7 cyclist all yelling at me and trying to hustle me into their seat. I felt overwhelmed and when the cyclists wouldn't leave me alone even after I indicated that I wasn't interested, a little threatened. They were quoting my prices I knew were absurd for the ride and so I felt angry at the idea they were trying to take advantage of what they assumed to be my ignorance because I'm obviously foreign. Plus, I didn't trust that they would take me straight to the site instead of taking me first to their cousin's store (which happens sometimes when you're a white person in a tourist area.) So, instead of taking and happily paying for a service that I wanted and that many folks wanted to give me, I chose the crowded and uncomfortable walk.
Our security guard asked my roommate for some money to buy a heater. She refused. She told me, "Two years ago I gave the then security guard a Rs 2000 for a heater, which is too much but I wanted to make sure he definitely had enough. I never saw the heater and I never saw the money again. So, this year I'll just buy the heater myself." Except, of course, my roommate is very busy and buying a heater can be a confusing thing in Delhi. After a few more cold days and nights without a heater she finally just gave the security guard Rs 1000, and emphasized that she needed to see the heater once he bought it.
Every morning at a particular traffic light on my way to work young children (none older than 11, I reckon) ask me for money. Many are carrying sleeping infants or have ugly injuries. They're almost always barefoot--even walking on the major streets in this frigid weather. It is so, so sad, but I never give children money because I'm suspicious they're being used as begging tools on behalf of unscrupulous adults, because I've heard that the sleeping infants are usually (and dangerously) drugged to stay asleep during the begging hours and I don't want to encourage that, because if the situation were really that desperate I wonder that they don't also ask the auto drivers also (instead of just the customers), and because of a hundred different reasons as well. I also don't engage with the children other than a perfunctory head shaking initially because I've learned that if you smile at them, make extended eye contact or speak kindly to them the children won't leave but continue bowing to your feet or showing off their infants/injuries with increasing pathos.
So, the relationship between the Haves and the Have Nots is much more complicated than Dickens might have you believe. (Query, Mr. Dickens, whether the real solution to industrial England's evils is Scrooge changing his heart versus having the government implement effective welfare programs?) On the other hand, I do believe that there is far too little empathy in India for the plight of the Have Nots which expresses itself in a lack of respect for the inherent dignity of people. But what I'm trying to say is that while I can imagine the righteous anger and disgust that might be felt by a rickshaw cyclist when watching a well-monied tourist walk away rather than spend 50 cents on a ride, or by a security guard sleeping outside when refused money for a heater by the person whose cozy house he guards, or by a begging child when blatantly ignored by a wealthy commuter, these acts do not necessarily stem from a lack of compassion but rather from the realities of the complicated and distrustful relationship existing between Haves and Have Nots.
Of course, I do believe that it is incumbent on the Haves to reach through this troubled relationship with generosity, compassion and empathy...but it's really not as simple as waking up one morning having shed one's "Bah humbug!" attitude. Personally, being smart, staying safe and hassle-free and extending generosity are three balls I still am learning to juggle.
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