An epidemic of "they"

Having now lived (for varying amount of time) in seven countries outside of the United States, I believe I am now somewhat qualified as an expert on the matter of Expat Culture. Expat Culture in London obviously looks somewhat different than Expat Culture in Namibia, and Expat Culture amongst lifers is also pretty different than Expat Culture amongst short-termer, but there are certain similarities. And one of these similarities--which I find particularly pronounced in India--is what I refer to as the epidemic of "they".

Here is what the epidemic of "they" is:

"They really don't know how to do good waiter service in this country."

"They are incredibly rude to their servants, and pretty much everyone else."

"They really take elections seriously here. It's very inspiring."

"They really only process directions one at a time. Like, if I tell my driver to pick up my daughter at school and then pick up the dry cleaning, he will go immediately to the dry-cleaners."

"They will always say no if that is the easiest answer for them. You have to really push them to see if they can do something."

"They are idiots. Total bureaucratic. form-filling, trying to drive me crazy idiots."

The examples above are all statements actually heard by me in the past few weeks. And as you can see, the epidemic of they is perhaps something akin to racism or nationalism--except not quite because the "they" in question is almost never the entirety of the impugned nation but rather some small sub-sect, like waiters, wealthy Indians, drivers, cashiers who refuse to exchange large bills for small bills, or Indian bureaucrats. (In fact, I admit that the last statement was mine because every interaction I've had here with a bureaucrat has turned me into a anti-bureaucratic bigot).

Only when the "they" is referring to some positive imputed quality (e.g., democratic fervor), are expats comfortable generalizing about the nation as a whole. But otherwise, I find that expats, who tend to be a liberal progressive bunch, are far too political correct to come out and say something negative about the host nation, generally. But, I can't helping feeling that sentiment is still there, in a gently understood metonymic way.

Of course, it's a lot harder to call out, especially because I personally think that these statements are often based on a frustrating truism about the country. Generally, India doesn't have such attentive wait staff as in the US and generally the bureaucrats are out to hassle me as much as possible (Seriously guys? You're holding up my tax-payer application because you don't believe that "Katherine Sara Barth" on my passport is the same person as "Kate Barth" on my work contract?)  But I also think that these statements ignore a perfectly understandable reason that may be behind such phenomenon. For example, is it possible that your driver/maid/whomever doesn't understand your "First do this, then do that" instructions because of a language barrier? Is it possible that Indian culture is to linger over meals for longer so it's actually more appropriate for wait staff to be hands-off? Is it possible that, if Katherine Sara Barth and Kate Barth do turn out to be separate people, and on of them is a terrorist, that whoever stamped my application will be thrown in a dark pit for all of eternity?

I really don't know the answer to these questions, and especially for the shorter term expats, I suspect they don't either. And maybe the epidemic of "they" shouldn't bother me so much as it really is just processing of culture shock via communal bitching. 

 

But still, there's just something about it that feels a leeettle bit uncomfortable . . . .