One of the things that has struck me over the past few weeks is how careful I have to be all of the time here. I'm actually not taking about being careful safety wise (though, don't worry Mom, I am), but rather being careful in my daily interactions with the people I meet.
In the USA, obviously, I generally have a fairly good grasp on the social, political, and cultural contexts of most situations and can edit my conversation appropriately. Moreover, having chatted my way through worlds of NYC big law and ivy league law schools for the past 7 years, I can also fairly assume a certain level of intellectual sophistication and the western-liberal worldview of the majority of my conversation partners. (Obviously, there are notable exceptions to this rule--you wouldn't believe some of the idiots they let into Wharton).
However in India I don't know if I can properly assess the context or the general world-view of the people I interact with. On top of that, I know that I don't have a sophisticated understanding of most things Indian--politics, culture, history--so I find myself pretty cautious about trying to give my opinion on these matter. (And, as many of you can probably imagine, for as outspoken and opinionated a woman as I am, finding myself unqualified to speak my mind is pretty uncomfortable!)
So, given the above considerations, I feel that I constantly have to be careful in conversations. For example:
- I struck up a conversation with the taxi driver on my ride from the airport. His English was not great, but he was able to understand that I was a lawyer come from New York to work in Delhi. What he was unable to understand, and what I had difficulty explaining, was why I would leave a job in the USA (which he of course assumed would pay more than an Indian job) to come work here. The real answer, of course, is that no matter where I work I will earn enough money to meet my desired standing of living, and I'm willing to trade in gobs of money for a career that feels more meaningful and interesting to me. But that's the answer of a woman who has never had to consider opportunity based strictly on the salary and, I imagine, might sound fairly-snotty/delusional if explained during a 20 minute cab ride. So instead I replied that yes, I had a good job in the USA but I was hoping to get an even better job upon my return and, in order to obtain this better job, employers wanted to see the sort of training I would get in India. This is, of course, all true--but a very careful way of explaining it.
- I went out for a coffee with some Indians (friends of friends) and talk turned to the upcoming election. For those of you who have not been following the Indian election, the leading candidates are the guy from the incumbent party (which apparently has shown itself to be fairly inept and corrupt) and the challenger, Narendra Modi, who is praised as being business and development-friendly but also dangerously playing the game of religious politics. He is famous for perhaps being responsible for the 2002 Hindu-Muslim riots in which hundreds of Muslims were killed. (Modi was the governor of the state in which these riots occurred and, if he didn't take an active role (which he may have) he at least looked the other way at every opportunity. It's also quite suspicious that everyone who was going to testify against his involvement was killed.)
So, I really don't envy Indians their choice in this election. But I was quite surprised when one of my new friends--who had been raised in India but studied and lived in London for several years (and is, by the way, otherwise a lovely guy)--went off on the kind of veiled-discriminatory, sectarian rant (in favor of Modi) which would be totally unacceptable amongst most educated Americans. Now, no doubt many educated Americans harbor sectarian prejudices, but have been trained to understand that decorum, especially amongst new acquaintances, requires a certain level of political correctness.
So, how do I react to my new friend's opinions? Carefully. I don't believe that people get a pass at being dangerously sexist, racist, or biased simply because of their culture--but I guess I do think that people get a pass at being mildly sexist, racist, or biased. I also think that without a better understanding of the cultural context (and, quite frankly, the facts surrounding the 2002 massacre) I can't express my thoughtful opinion on the matter. So, the best I could do here was to ask my new friend if he would still vote for Modi if he were Muslim and then to use his hesitation as a prompt in explaining that I find identity politics to be a dangerous game (and that voting for a candidate simply because he shares your immutable characteristics seems like a shit-poor way to run a country).
- I want to make sure I treat everyone with whom I interact with respect and dignity. But how to I respond when a servant bows deeply to me? Do I bow back and hold the bow for longer than he does? I'm like, pretty sure that would weird him out. It also, quite frankly, would seem totally inappropriate to my host, usually employer of the servant. For now I've just been smiling widely and nodding for a brief moment before turning my attention back to the host, but I'm always worried that it feels inauthentic to return a deep bow with a quick smile.
So these are just a few scenarios, but you can see how this all makes me feel like I need to take much care in my interactions with folk. Here's hoping as I get better grounded in the Indian context, I'll be able to regain some of my usual sloppiness!
In the USA, obviously, I generally have a fairly good grasp on the social, political, and cultural contexts of most situations and can edit my conversation appropriately. Moreover, having chatted my way through worlds of NYC big law and ivy league law schools for the past 7 years, I can also fairly assume a certain level of intellectual sophistication and the western-liberal worldview of the majority of my conversation partners. (Obviously, there are notable exceptions to this rule--you wouldn't believe some of the idiots they let into Wharton).
However in India I don't know if I can properly assess the context or the general world-view of the people I interact with. On top of that, I know that I don't have a sophisticated understanding of most things Indian--politics, culture, history--so I find myself pretty cautious about trying to give my opinion on these matter. (And, as many of you can probably imagine, for as outspoken and opinionated a woman as I am, finding myself unqualified to speak my mind is pretty uncomfortable!)
So, given the above considerations, I feel that I constantly have to be careful in conversations. For example:
- I struck up a conversation with the taxi driver on my ride from the airport. His English was not great, but he was able to understand that I was a lawyer come from New York to work in Delhi. What he was unable to understand, and what I had difficulty explaining, was why I would leave a job in the USA (which he of course assumed would pay more than an Indian job) to come work here. The real answer, of course, is that no matter where I work I will earn enough money to meet my desired standing of living, and I'm willing to trade in gobs of money for a career that feels more meaningful and interesting to me. But that's the answer of a woman who has never had to consider opportunity based strictly on the salary and, I imagine, might sound fairly-snotty/delusional if explained during a 20 minute cab ride. So instead I replied that yes, I had a good job in the USA but I was hoping to get an even better job upon my return and, in order to obtain this better job, employers wanted to see the sort of training I would get in India. This is, of course, all true--but a very careful way of explaining it.
- I went out for a coffee with some Indians (friends of friends) and talk turned to the upcoming election. For those of you who have not been following the Indian election, the leading candidates are the guy from the incumbent party (which apparently has shown itself to be fairly inept and corrupt) and the challenger, Narendra Modi, who is praised as being business and development-friendly but also dangerously playing the game of religious politics. He is famous for perhaps being responsible for the 2002 Hindu-Muslim riots in which hundreds of Muslims were killed. (Modi was the governor of the state in which these riots occurred and, if he didn't take an active role (which he may have) he at least looked the other way at every opportunity. It's also quite suspicious that everyone who was going to testify against his involvement was killed.)
So, I really don't envy Indians their choice in this election. But I was quite surprised when one of my new friends--who had been raised in India but studied and lived in London for several years (and is, by the way, otherwise a lovely guy)--went off on the kind of veiled-discriminatory, sectarian rant (in favor of Modi) which would be totally unacceptable amongst most educated Americans. Now, no doubt many educated Americans harbor sectarian prejudices, but have been trained to understand that decorum, especially amongst new acquaintances, requires a certain level of political correctness.
So, how do I react to my new friend's opinions? Carefully. I don't believe that people get a pass at being dangerously sexist, racist, or biased simply because of their culture--but I guess I do think that people get a pass at being mildly sexist, racist, or biased. I also think that without a better understanding of the cultural context (and, quite frankly, the facts surrounding the 2002 massacre) I can't express my thoughtful opinion on the matter. So, the best I could do here was to ask my new friend if he would still vote for Modi if he were Muslim and then to use his hesitation as a prompt in explaining that I find identity politics to be a dangerous game (and that voting for a candidate simply because he shares your immutable characteristics seems like a shit-poor way to run a country).
- I want to make sure I treat everyone with whom I interact with respect and dignity. But how to I respond when a servant bows deeply to me? Do I bow back and hold the bow for longer than he does? I'm like, pretty sure that would weird him out. It also, quite frankly, would seem totally inappropriate to my host, usually employer of the servant. For now I've just been smiling widely and nodding for a brief moment before turning my attention back to the host, but I'm always worried that it feels inauthentic to return a deep bow with a quick smile.
So these are just a few scenarios, but you can see how this all makes me feel like I need to take much care in my interactions with folk. Here's hoping as I get better grounded in the Indian context, I'll be able to regain some of my usual sloppiness!
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