Last Saturday I went to a spa to get a massage. The spa I went to was in a ritzy area of town and fairly upscale--you know, the kind of place where they've put some delicate-looking flower bowl under the massage table so when you're face-down in the doughnut thingy you have something pleasant to look at. There was gentle music playing, the air was sweetly spiced and I got offered ice-cold glasses of water flavored with fresh lime before and after my treatment.
Basically, what I'm trying to impress on all of you is that this was a very nice, above-board kind of place.
About halfway through the massage, when I'd flipped onto my back, my masseuse--a young Asian woman with limited English--was just in the middle of a vigorous face massage when she asked me if I wanted a "breath" massage. Since I was just getting over a cold and had been sniffing throughout the treatment, I assumed she was offering to to help clear out my sinuses by the targeted rubbing of that forehead area between your eyes that gets clogged. (Don't laugh people, it's a thing. I really have gotten nasal-clearing face massages before). So I said yes.
Of course, she wasn't really asking if I wanted a breath massage.
The next thing I know my modesty sheet had been flipped out, my entire upper half had been oiled up, and my lovely masseuse was giving me quite a vigorous rub-down. Once I got over my surprise I have to admit that the entire experience was, in fact, quite clinical and not at all sketchy--but you can imagine it took me a moment or two to decide whether I was or was not being molested, albeit with my consent. And then it took me another moment or two to decide if this was actually an "extra" service that I would be expected to tip heavily for. (I decided not, though I did tip her well).
After my "breath" massage my masseuse then proceeded to rub my belly, yes like a dog. Which was, nice, I guess. But, having now enjoyed the full "breath" massage experience, here's my review: very meh. I mean, its perfectly pleasant, but until I get as many knots on my front as I have on my back I think I'll skip the "breath" massage next time its offered.
Epilogue: after I left the spa I told the story of my "breath" massage to my roommates. My British roommate was like "Oh yup, that's totally a thing here. Rumor has it that lonely Indian housewives request young male masseuses just for the experience . . . ."
Basically, what I'm trying to impress on all of you is that this was a very nice, above-board kind of place.
About halfway through the massage, when I'd flipped onto my back, my masseuse--a young Asian woman with limited English--was just in the middle of a vigorous face massage when she asked me if I wanted a "breath" massage. Since I was just getting over a cold and had been sniffing throughout the treatment, I assumed she was offering to to help clear out my sinuses by the targeted rubbing of that forehead area between your eyes that gets clogged. (Don't laugh people, it's a thing. I really have gotten nasal-clearing face massages before). So I said yes.
Of course, she wasn't really asking if I wanted a breath massage.
The next thing I know my modesty sheet had been flipped out, my entire upper half had been oiled up, and my lovely masseuse was giving me quite a vigorous rub-down. Once I got over my surprise I have to admit that the entire experience was, in fact, quite clinical and not at all sketchy--but you can imagine it took me a moment or two to decide whether I was or was not being molested, albeit with my consent. And then it took me another moment or two to decide if this was actually an "extra" service that I would be expected to tip heavily for. (I decided not, though I did tip her well).
After my "breath" massage my masseuse then proceeded to rub my belly, yes like a dog. Which was, nice, I guess. But, having now enjoyed the full "breath" massage experience, here's my review: very meh. I mean, its perfectly pleasant, but until I get as many knots on my front as I have on my back I think I'll skip the "breath" massage next time its offered.
Epilogue: after I left the spa I told the story of my "breath" massage to my roommates. My British roommate was like "Oh yup, that's totally a thing here. Rumor has it that lonely Indian housewives request young male masseuses just for the experience . . . ."
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